All of us have just SNAPPED when our child's behaviour has pushed our stress over the edge. Our fight-flight-freeze mechanism in our brain kicks in and we react to our children in less than ideal ways.
Maybe we grab their arm too rough or we engage in a screaming match with our 4 year old.
Later we enter deep regret. "This is not the type of parent I want to be!"
To learn a better way involves education and self-control.
On one hand, many parents simply aren't aware of what is developmentally normal behaviour. We set our expectations too high or too low and then don't know how to respond.
On the other hand, when it comes to any relationship we can only control how WE respond. We can't control anyone but ourselves.
I can help with both.
But first let me give you some tips on how you can control your own response to your child's behaviour.
First, I want you to NOTICE. Notice what your body is telling you. What does your body do to let you know you are approaching peak stress? Does your neck become hot? Do your shoulders tense? Do you clench your fists or toes? Do you have stomach pains? Begin to notice these cues and listen to what your body is telling you and take a step back.
As you notice your body telling you you’re reaching your stress point, try this mindfulness practice. Mentally take a step back and STOP-PAUSE-PLAY.
Stop yourself from reacting.
Pause and think about how you can respond as the parent you want to be. Decide on an action or words.
Then press PLAY and follow through.
If you can’t in that moment, give yourself permission to take a time out, remove yourself from the situation, take deep breaths and then STOP PAUSE PLAY when you are able.
Need help talking through what barriers are in the way to you becoming the parent you thought you would be? Want to come up with a plan forward to communicate peacefully with your child, forgive yourself and parent with confidence without constantly second-guessing yourself?
I can help.
1. Join the FREE group Confident Parenting Solutions. The weekly units walk you through the steps to create change in your own life and approach to your relationship with your children. Download your first few worksheets here: https://www.cradle2kindy.com.au/confidentparentinglp
2. Book a Coaching Call to talk through your unique challenges and come up with a plan. This may be a once-off, weekly, monthly or quarterly arrangement. Whichever works best for you: https://www.cradle2kindy.com.au/book-online/coaching-call