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Christine Jolly, Owner and Parent Coach

Hobart, Tasmania

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What to Do When Your Parenting Styles Clash

 Do you and your partner differ on your approach to parenting? Hans Kelder of Hobart Marriage Counselling​ reflects that couples come from different family cultures. One parent was raised one way. The other was on the receiving end of a completely different approach. It's pointless to argue over which "culture" you and your spouse ought to adopt. Rather expend your energy extracting from each culture what will work for you.

From there you can assess if these approaches are in sync with current understanding of infant and child development. There has been (most likely) 30 years of research done in between the time you were little and your own brood of hatchlings were born. One of the areas of research that has exploded in that amount of time is neuroscience.

Our understanding of brain development and how it links to our physical bodies and emotional experiences and MORE has direct impact on our approach to parenting. It causes us to stop and pause before we react to our children's behaviour, knowing that there is a lot going on under the surface that we cannot see. It means we have to use our detective skills to discover problems when our toddlers don't yet have the words or the skills to communicate what is upsetting them.  

Show each other a measure of patience and grace as you transition to this new family culture. Each of you will slip back to what you know over and over again. Don't beat yourself up about it. Catch yourself in the moment: "Oh, there I go again. I sound just like my mother! Ha. Ok. Let me take a step back and think this through."

A Cradle 2 Kindy Parenting Solutions​ coach would be a great way to bring in a third party to help you and your partner have those conversations and determine a way forward that both of you would be happy to pursue. Book your FREE 20 minute consulatation here: www.cradle2kindy.com.au/book-online

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Disclaimer: Articles on our website are for education purposes only.  Please consult with your doctor to make sure this information is right for your child.