When my wife told me she was pregnant I was excited, yet no where the same enthusiasm as provided by my wife.
Why? Possibly because it was not my body and hormones changing, possibly because I had no inner connection and possibly because I was more involved and connected in my Business/Corporate life. As I spoke to a lot of my male friends, many never attended the ultrasound sessions or were interested in attending birthing classes; their responses were “that is left for the woman” or “I’m too busy”, and many of those that did attend were rather blasé in the ultrasound and birthing class experience.
So what changed my enthusiasm to become so passionately involved, caring and participating in the whole life experience?
My wife and I had our 12 and 20 week ultrasound (mind you I only went to the 12 week ultrasound), and Kylie; my wife decided she would like to experience a 3D Ultrasound to see who the baby looked most like. Kylie was at 28 weeks into her pregnancy, within a minute of starting the ultrasound the ultrasound technician found a major heart abnormality. That afternoon we were provide four options -
Baby will probably not live to full term
If the baby does live, it may probably need ongoing life support
I chose termination, my wife chose hope………..as soon as my wife made that decision of hope; I committed to supporting her 100%. I became involved, in her and our life. I no longer became a spectator in life, at 42 years of age I started participating again. How many of us men are sitting on the sidelines of life. As a kid we men were “super heroes, we had large visions and dreams, we were invincible”. How many men have given up hope?
From the ages of 35 to 50 is the highest suicide rate for men in the Western world. In that age group we actually outperform the death rate of all motor vehicle accident fatalities.
My wife saw far more in me than I had allowed myself to see. Simply take one step, just as a baby learns to walk it all starts with simple step. Look at your baby or child – you created that simplicity of beauty, you were a part of a miracle – only a “super hero” has the ability to be a miracle maker.
So today we have a four and half year old son, a miracle – healthy, vibrant, precocious – he gets to call me dad, more importantly I get to call him son. Take one small step, one small feat to get active in life today. Be a solution, a foundation for you first and your family will benefit.
Are there days where the world is heavy, yes – yet I continue to participate. From my wife’s positive action to choose hope – I got to write a book called A Son’s Gift ; I got to connect with so many inspirational, talented, motivated and passionate people (many of them women) and created One 2 One Conversations – take a step be that super hero – live your life as if every breath is your first and last.
Being involved – some days and moments will feel as though it is your last breath, what slowly occurs is that each breath will start to feel as your first of a whole new adventure in life.