Parent Coaching Case Studies

Correspondence Consultation

Fri, 30 Apr 2010 00:20:00 GMT

Behavioural Management

I received a contact us form from Danielle who said “We live in SA on a property. 2 boys Ben - 3yrs and Josh -2yrs. Our issues are: Mealtimes, Fighting, Day Sleeps, and Destructive Behaviour.” After having a chat to Danielle on the phone and sending her our parenting e-book “When the Bough Breaks” and some information pertaining to her particular situation I received back her first email :
"OMG!! Sally you are an angel! I have just succeeded in with Josh's first day sleep, on my own, in own bed, without being driven to sleep for nearly 4 weeks. It only took about 10 minutes and I am feeling relatively unscathed.
Wish we had found you months ago!"

The following day:

"Well another excellent bed time routine last night…all went a little pear shaped around 4.30am but we stuck to the plan and Josh slept till 7.30! Ben didn’t quite make it through the screaming but that was to be expected really.

So, we are all feeling very brave today and have decided its ‘DDay’ for Ben and toilet training. The jocks are on and we will see how we fare….so any other fabulous bits of your knowledge would be greatly appreciated!

Also just wanted to tell you how much happier Josh seems, there isn’t quite as much of the ear piercing screaming and he seems so much more content in himself. He even ate 2 bowls of his tea last night! Unheard of!

“C2K has changed our household beyond belief. If someone had told me that by putting the steps in place discussed in one phone call our 2yr old would be staying in bed within 10 minutes and sleeping through the night and back to having day sleeps after 3 nights I wouldn’t have believed it. C2K has given us the tools to be better parents, and given us the chance to spend time together once the kids are in bed by 7pm...not 10pm! Even though we only spoke on the phone and emailed for our coaching we are so pleased with the results! Our parenting coach was always available whenever we had any queries and always took the time to talk through the process without it ever feeling rushed or that our 'issues' weren't important. ” Danielle - Rural South Australia

Unsettled Baby

From rural Victoria I received a call of help to assist with a unsettled baby.

"I rang you today regarding needing your help by correspondence. I am really wanting help with getting my baby to stop waking up every 30min - 1hr during the day, and also getting him to have longer sleeps at night. I am confident with settling and resettling, but it would just be great if he didn’t wake in the first place, so that he’s not waking us all of the time, and so I didn’t have to get up to re settle him. I look forward to your help".

An email from one week later after assisting with several emails and phone calls:

"I just thought I’d give you an update on how we are going. I’m not getting my hopes up to much, but we have definitely noticed an improvement in our baby boy over the past few days. He is sleeping better at night, he still wakes up when he shouldn’t occasionally, but I just leave him there or resettle him and then he ends up being in bed for anything from 5-7 hours at a time (last night he went back down at 2.30am, cried at 5.30, but I resettled him, then didn’t wake until 9.00am).

He also appears to be getting better during the day as well, not waking up as often as he usually would. So far this morning he has been down for nearly 2 ¾ hours and hasn’t stirred (yippee). I’ve only had to use the white noise twice, and both times he has been “out cold” within 1- 2 minutes. Fingers crossed this all continues. THANK YOU" Kaylene - Wodonga, Vic

Sleep Issues: Newborn

Fri, 30 Apr 2010 00:13:00 GMT

Ten days old

Baby Clare was the first born on inexperienced parents who desperately needed help with breastfeeding, routine and settling there ten day old baby.

When our first child was born we really had no idea what we were doing. With my husband and I being the youngest children in our family, we had no experience in looking after younger siblings. I remember not even being able to change a disposable nappy!

These simple techniques were a tremendous help as they gave us the confidence we needed to parent effectively. The practical advice given helped me with feeding problems, and the wrapping and settling techniques helped with Clare’s sleep routine. Generally, I remember thinking how great it was to have our baby in a ‘routine’ so much easier than most of the other babies we knew at the time.

I’d highly recommend the techniques and routine Cradle 2 Kindy taught to any first-time parent or anyone having difficulties adjusting to and coping with a new baby. Dover Heights, NSW

Ten days old

Emma was also ten days old and was a very poor sleeper. By the afternoon she was inconsolable.

My husband and I came out of hospital with our new daughter, Emma, feeling incredibly daunted by our new life as parents. Looking after a new baby was completely overwhelming. Emma would not settle at all during the afternoon, and into the night the problems became worse. This predicament left me in tears daily. My husband and I were both sleep-deprived and were being given all sorts of advice: pat her, rock her cradle, take her for a long walk in the pram. We even ventured out in our car for an hour at 3 am one night, with the hope it might send her to sleep - it didn’t! Nothing worked!

Then we had the good fortune to come across Cradle 2 Kindy and their parenting coach program.

Our coach spent twenty-four hours with our new family - the most life-changing day since Emma was born! After discussing and observing our routine, it was explained that four-hourly feeding, wrapping and little, if any, comforting to sleep would work well with Emma. Emma quickly settled into a successful and easy-to-follow routine. The major focus was on sleep for mum as well as baby. It was suggested we should do this by giving baby time to settle by herself, allowing her to unwind by crying, waking baby to feed every four hours during the day and mum sleeping at least once during the day while baby was sleeping. Another key lesson was that a well-fed baby sleeps better than a half-fed baby. These methods give us the energy and confidence to cope with a newborn.

Our parenting coach also helped us a little further down the track when Emma was about four-months old - just at the point where our social life was returning. The problem was that we lacked the knowledge and confidence to drop a night feed and allow Emma to sleep through the night. After two consecutive nights, during which we reinforced the comforting settling skills we learnt before, Emma no longer woke during the night and now sleeps from around 7 pm until 6.30 am. We now have the confidence to have more children!

A wealth of information, these parenting skills have left us with good practical guidelines. I have recommended these methods to my friends and they have been a great hit! Mosman, NSW

"With our first child we had no idea what we were doing. Our Cradle 2 Kindy coach came and was a tremendous help. All the basics were covered and more giving us the confidence we needed to parent effectively. I remember thinking how great it was to have our baby in a ‘routine’ so much earlier then most of the other babies we knew at the time. I’d highly recommend a parenting coach from Cradle 2 Kindy to any first time parent or anyone having difficulties adjusting to and coping with a new baby". Cremorne, NSW

Also see Services Newborn

Sleep Issues: Three to seven months

Fri, 30 Apr 2010 00:13:00 GMT

Three months

Brian was a three months old who found it difficult to sleep, he became more unsettled the longer you remained with him.

Our son Brian had not been an easy baby to settle for sleep since birth. We had initially tried to rock and pat him to sleep, however, this could sometimes take anywhere from ten minutes to an hour. Whilst he was tired, when it was time for sleep, he seemed to find it difficult to unwind and let himself drift off. It also seemed that sometimes the constant rocking and patting actually annoyed him, and he would really get more upset and overtired.

The settling technique taught to us by our parenting coach has proven far more effective for Brian, and whilst sometimes it still can take some time for him to fall asleep, we no longer have the long stretches of crying which had previously happened. Penny – Mosman, NSW

“The sleep solutions we learnt from Cradle 2 Kindy, for our three month old son, has proved far more effective than our method of rocking or patting him off to sleep which sometimes took up to one hour. Whilst sometimes it can still take him a little while to fall asleep we no longer have the long stretches of crying which had previously happened.” Glebe, NSW

Five months

Colin at five month had no routine and poor sleep habits. His mother had tired various settling techniques and institutions to no avail.

Colin was always an unsettled baby from the very beginning. He was sensitive to sound (for example, I couldn’t speak on the phone in the same room, nor take him into the supermarket without him crying) and he needed a quiet daily routine. In addition, Clive refused to sleep in the day. Even at the age of five weeks, he could be awake from 10 am to 11 pm. The only way I found to get him to sleep was to rock him in my arms while standing and swaying. This seemed okay initially, as Colin slept throughout the night. I finally managed to get Colin into a routine of sleeping twice in a day. Up until then it had been very ad-hoc. However, I still needed to rock him in my arms. Colin had to be completely asleep before I could put him in his cot, otherwise he would wake and I would have to start the whole process again. I could spend on average thirty to forty minutes per rocking session, with Colin sometimes only having a twenty-minute sleep. He was so overtired by the end of the day. I could spend one to five hours rocking him, but I convinced myself that it was okay and that he would grow out of it by six months of age.

Rather than getting better, it all began to deteriorate. Colin began waking earlier and earlier in the morning, then at five months he starting to wake three times per nigh. I fed him briefly each time before he went back to sleep and began to get concerned that he was not getting enough nutrition in the day. Colin was still fully breastfed and quite a big baby (ninety-seventh percentile). I decided to ‘top him up’ with formula at night-time. This did not affect night-waking and I was informed (by Tresillian) that it was a sleeping problem and not a nutrition problem. ‘Someone please help me!’ was my call.

Although I had attended two day-stays with Tresillian, I did not have much success when returning home. Little differences had me very confused. I asked Cradle 2 Kindy to help. Our parenting coach spent time with me in my home to help Colin learn to fall asleep on his own. It ended up being a very simple, effective and painless process, because I was given very clear information. In a nutshell, we used a combination of the clock and Colin’s tired signs to decide when to put him to bed. He was wrapped, using a method to that allowed arm movement. The sheet was pulled up and tucked in and the side of the cot was raised, no eye contact. To my utter amazement after implementing their settling techniques, Colin went to sleep in twenty minutes and stayed asleep for two hours. However, it was the next sleep which proved interesting, as Colin decided to really protest and has a screaming tantrum in his cot. It took a little longer for him to fall asleep and much resolve on my part, but consistency paid off. It was nothing short of a miracle. Within one day, Colin went to sleep on his own and I had regained several hours to myself in each day. The same technique also works in the pram, so going out over sleep time is not so much of a stress. Thanks to these life-saving parenting skills, I now have a new life. I can barely imagine that I spent so much time trapped in a ‘rocking’ cycle. Helen – Mosman, NSW

“We were absolutely delighted with the help Cradle 2 Kindy gave us. It is the to our coach that our five month old baby is now sleeping properly during the day and all thought the night. We have got our lives back and Joshua is a happy, content little boy. All of this is due to our parenting coach. She gave us the benefit of her vast experience to teach us how to help Joshua to sleep. She did nit with respect for us as parents and in a confident and relaxed way. I am amazed at the wealth of experience she ahs with children and highly recommend her services to anyone.” Anita - Redfern, NSW

Also see Services Baby

Sleep Issues: Seven to twenty-four months

Thu, 29 Apr 2010 23:23:00 GMT

Seven and a half months

James at 7 ½ months was unable to resettle himself after one sleep cycle during both the day and night. He had learnt that if he vomited his would be picked up. His parents were desperate for a good nights sleep.

We called Cradle 2 Kindy to help me establish a sleeping routine for James as he had deteriorated over a four to six week period to about two twenty-minute naps during the day and was waking up nearly every hour during the night.

I had tried breast feeding on demand, a bottle of formula, dummy (needing to be put back in every hour), music, rocking and patting to no avail. He cried until I came to settle him which usually only took ten to fifteen minutes, went back to sleep only to wake soon after and not be able to put himself back to sleep. His crying was so loud and stressful he sometimes made himself sick in the cot. We were concerned about all the noise for the neighbours and street so always rushed into him before he was beside himself. My husband had even stood in the street to check out the noise levels.

I read Baby Love and other books on controlled crying to see if I could do something myself, but always found that I could not commit to the procedures as there was always an excuse in my mind as to why he was crying - like hunger, teething, injections, cold etc. I was so tired after six weeks I felt like a zombie. I was not enjoying each day, as little things upset me that never would have before. I knew tiredness was the only problem but couldn’t see the way to fix it for both of our benefits. I knew the poor sleep James was having for this age wasn’t doing him any good either, so felt something had to be done.

Cradle 2 Kindy techniques had helped a girlfriend with her baby in the early months so her recommendation was essential.

I discussed my problem with our parenting coach over the phone and booked a time for two weeks later. I was concerned about the “control crying” aspect of settling but our coach described the method she used as “comforting”. … what a difference a definition makes! I felt better already and sure I was going to be able to work it out.

Over the twenty-four hours our coach visited us we learnt all about Sleep SolutionsTM for infants. Once I understood the technique, its variations and the need to teach him a routine, it all became so clear. I had really just needed someone to guide me through the initial long periods of crying, assuring me that all my concerns (hunger, dummy etc) were not the problem but James merely needed to learn the ability to resettle himself after periods of waking. He slept through the night on the second night. I learnt sleep induces sleep. Once the technique was applied through the day as well as the night, we were having two proper sleeps a day (sometimes for two hours) followed by 7 pm to 6 am night sleeps. We added a small 120 ml bottle feed at 10.30 pm to be sure he was satisfied and slept through. He only required this extra feed for three weeks. Sure, there were days or night following that were not perfect, but I now know what to do in these circumstances which fixed the problem for the next sleep.

The main difficulties with sleep and settling babies were so easily overcome once I was confident in the routine I established. I was so happy knowing it worked for us! Julie – Paddington, NSW

Also see Services Baby

“We did not have a routine with Zak and every night we would try various things to get him to sleep. Cradle 2 Kindy sent us a parenting coach who showed us how to settle Zak, providing a routine and consistency was most important. We are one happy family now with Zak asleep from seven to seven with a dream feed at ten pm. Our coach’s follow up was fantastic as I had more questions after her stay which she answered and also followed up the emails on topics we had discussed. We can only keep praising Cradle 2 Kindy to all our friends who have children and want sleep!! Thanks again.” Josephine – Northmead, NSW

Twelve months old

Alex was a twelve-month old with night waking issues. He desperately needed to learn how to self settle. Perseverance, consistency and determination saw a quick response from Alex.

With trepidation we decided (well, I decided and my husband didn’t protest too loudly) to embark on a sleep and settling venture with our twelve-month old baby. I figured that although at this stage he could cry and wail loudly, he couldn’t shout obscenities like “why are you doing this to me Mama!” I was not brave enough, or disciplined enough, to settle my baby on my own so I called Cradle 2 Kindy to help me. After all, this was not the first time we would do this, so I had a fair idea of what I was in for.

Our parenting coach taught us sleep and settling technique for our baby, Alex, first when he was five months old and I was returning to full-time work. At that stage he would wake up to six times an evening. The settling worked like a charm and he was sleeping through by the second night. Unfortunately, an illness, a flooded kitchen and having to move out of our house for two weeks broke his routine when he was about eleven months old. Being desperate for the peace of mind and clarity that a full night’s sleep brings, we decided it would be worth a shot.

I remember the first evening of settling: our coach was unswerving in her technique and gently reminded me to get out of the room every time I had difficulties leaving. Why? Cause he wailed. He cried and screamed and thrashed and was very cranky with me. It broke my heart. What I didn’t expect was that once he fell asleep the first time that it was not over. So, at 4 am he woke again and the same procedure took place. I was devastated and spent the rest of the night in my bed crying. It’s a tough-love thing and it’s mentally and emotionally exhausting.

The second night was much easier and of course, by the third night he was fast asleep in next to no time and stayed asleep. At which point I was grateful that I was able to get through the first hideous evening and maintain the determination to break the cycle. But I still acknowledge and remember how difficult it was.

Since then we have moved house and, of course, have had many a childhood fever. The difficulty is that their sleep routine can be broken so easily and you have to be so strong. Alex is almost twenty-months old and, yes, we had a bit of difficulty when we moved homes and he was in a new bedroom. He seems to have adjusted quite well; however, we have made a conscious decision to accept a degree of broken sleep: he wakes some nights and sleep through others. When he wakes, he asks for a drink and goes back to sleep. So we figure, this is acceptable for now.

I strongly recommend a parenting coach from Cradle 2 Kindy to parents who are desperate to sleep. I can confidently say that the earlier you make the decision, the easier it is. Would I do it again? We are expecting another baby and I am certainly going to follow this technique for the newborn if the problem arises. As for Alex, I dread the idea of having to go through this a second time, so we are very disciplined about when or why we disrupt his sleeping pattern. After all, the memory is a powerful tool. Karen – Hurstville, NSW

Also see Services Baby

Sleep Issues: Toddlers and children

Thu, 29 Apr 2010 23:23:00 GMT

Two and a half years old

Tom was an only child who was very insecure and clingy. He had very few boundaries and controlled the house with temper tantrums and refused to go to bed constantly waking throughout the night seeking his parent’s attention.

When we initially contacted Cradle 2 Kindy, we were desperately in need of professional help. Our two and a half-year old son Tom, an only child at the time and not a good sleeper at the best of times, had become impossible to settle. He woke constantly at night and was clingy, cranky and insecure during the day.
Things had degenerated to the point where we drove him around to put him to sleep at about 7 pm and sometimes even in the middle of the night when he woke and wouldn’t be resettled.

When our parenting coach arrived at 4 pm on the first day of her four-day stay, we were all stressed, cranky and exhausted. She watched as we went through the evening routine with Tom and she had assessed the situation within minutes. ‘He doesn’t know his limits. That’s what’s making him so clingy and insecure,’ she said.

With the help of the new strategies, we were able to take charge of the routine. The methods guided us through the dinner, bath, bedtime process, essentially making the routine firmer. Dinner took approximately twenty minutes, bath time about the same, and with far fewer protests than usual Jack was put to bed with a firm ‘goodnight’. We then sat down to talk about what had been happening and why.

It emerged that the catalyst for Tom’s behaviour was an innocent enough event from months before. Something he’d watched on a video had given him a fright. Taking his fears seriously, we consoled him, explained it wasn’t real and when he said he was too scared to sleep by himself, one of us had slept in his room.

As a bright, opportunistic child, Tom turned a real, although passing, fear to his advantage. (Yes, he conned us!) The result was a vicious circle. The more we pandered to his fears, the more clingy he became.

The four days our coach was with us were a learning experience for us as a family. We have an extremely strong-willed son who given an inch will take a mile. We were taught some excellent long-term strategies to help us deal with Tom more effectively. Despite his various protests and ploys, he was firmly guided back to bed whenever he came out, both at bedtime and throughout the night.

Better sleep and the feeling that we had more control over the situation resulted in a far happier family life for us all. The most interesting change however was in Tom. Contrary to our expectations, he totally lost his fears and became a much happier, more confident child.

As many new parents have said, babies and children don’t come with a manual. The next best thing is to get professional from Cradle 2 Kindy to help when you need it. The long-term benefits to us have been immeasurable. Woollahra, NSW

Jasmine a four and a half year old needed not only guidelines for a bedtime routine but also boundaries and limits to prepare her for school.

Our daughter, due to travel and living in an apartment, did not have her own room till she was nearly three years old, when we finally settled in our own house. Because of this she had often slept in our bed. I was physically worn down from constant disturbed nights and disrupted daily routines. At this point I didn’t realise there was a problem. I was just trying to keep life in some kind of order which included sleeping Jasmine in her own room. During the night, she would sneak across the hall and hop into my bed. Her constant kicking exhausted me, but instead of taking her back to her bed I would sleep semi-comatose till the morning. I thought I was going quite mad. As I became more and more sleep deprived, I became more intent on teaching her to stay in her bed. It worked three times. After being vigilant for five nights, I could get her to stay in her bed. However, travel would disrupt the whole routine and I’d be back to square one. Being a tired exhausted, angry wreck, my perseverance was wearing thin so the vicious cycle would start again. At my wits end, I told a neighbour, who told me about the success of these settling techniques.

I instantly rang Cradle 2 Kindy to arrange for a parenting coach to visit us and felt extraordinarily comforted because she had obviously heard it all before. However, the most inspiring part for me - wait for this - she wasn’t phased in the slightest that our daughter was now four years old (In some ways I’d given up on getting help, thinking in very clichéd terms that there was no-one out there who could help … (I’d thought I’d missed the ‘learning to sleep’ boat.)

Now this progress was very exciting and then the most marvellous incident occurred. Because our daughter was four and perhaps at her most negotiable stage, the process was utterly un-traumatic all round.

After the first two easy nights initiating the technique, the third proved the roughest. But non-the-less very verbally negotiable. I had secretly expected the process to be easy at the first, because I knew our daughter would find it all very amusing and fall into line until she realised we meant business, and obviously, any initial reactions are due to the temperament and character of the child. After six nights, she learnt not to creep into my bed and to stay in her bed. Since, I have heard her get up and go to do a wee (we keep a potty in her room as the toilet is downstairs) and get back into bed. When her clock turns seven o’clock, she knows she is allowed to come into Mummy and Daddy’s room.

Our coach insisted that both parents should learn the technique. Now I have once again found deep sleep, thanks to these techniques. Woollahra, NSW

“When we contacted Cradle 2 Kindy we were desperately in need of professional help. Our two and a half year old son was impossible to put to bed and woke constantly during the night and was clingy, cranky and insecure during the day. A parenting coach from Cradle 2 Kindy stayed with us for several nights. Better sleep and feeling we had more control over the situation resulted in a far happier family life for us all. The most interesting change however was in our son. Contrary to our expectations, he totally lost his fears and became a much happier, more confident child. As many new parents have said, “babies and children don’t come with a manual. The next best thing is to get professional help when you need it, and the long term benefits to us have been immeasurable our parenting coach from Cradle 2 Kindy has since been back to help us achieve a good routine right from the start with our second child."

“After having the ‘perfect child’ the sudden onset of sleepless night and days was unbearable. Cradle 2 Kindy sent us a parenting coach who managed, after only a single night work and parental training, to once again set our daughter to sleep through the night for 12 hours and, in turn, also have a good daytime sleep. When we had thought all had failed and there was no solution, our coach’s calm, persistent manner and methodology tamed our ‘determined’ child.”

Ria – Rose Bay, NSW

Also see Services - Toddler & Child

Behavioural Guidance

Thu, 29 Apr 2010 23:25:00 GMT

This family had two children and a dog that all ran a-muck. Everyone was shouting, there was no order and very few boundaries.

Our family was chaos until we asked a parenting coach from Cradle 2 Kindy to help. Our coach came in and gave some very specific instructions for each one of us. Mine was to stop shouting at the children and start giving clear audible instructions with warnings and lots of positive reinforcement instead of negative commands. Within days things had turned around for the better. I actually feel I have some control now and more respect from my children who are so much better behaved now that they have boundaries and warnings to adhere to.

What a difference a parenting coach from Cradle 2 Kindy has made to our family. It is also reassuring to be able to call our own coach, who knows our particular situation personally, and ask for further advice. I would recommend a personal parenting coach from Cradle 2 Kindy for any parent who is having behavioural problems with their children. Vaucluse, NSW

“We felt that our three year old was running the house; pushing the boundaries to the limit including aggressive behaviour and temper tantrums – particularly at bed time. Our parenting coach wanted us to keep her on a tight rein to start with – including no ‘second chances’ just consequences to her actions. We now feel more in control after such appropriate guidance.” Sarah – Balgowlah, NSW

“I called Cradle 2 Kindy because I had difficulty with my fourteen month old throwing tantrums not only at home but in the shopping centre. On one occasion our coach came with me to the shopping centre and gave clear instructions on how to change my daughter’s unruly behaviour. We got a few strange looks in the process but my coach reassured me that my daughter’s behaviour would change if I didn’t pamper to her every demand.” Paula - Bossley Park, NSW

Also see Services - Toddler & Child

Twin Management

Thu, 29 Apr 2010 23:54:00 GMT

A family with an older child and newborn twins called Cradle 2 Kindy for assistance with routines to fit in with the whole family.

With the arrival of twin boys and a two year old I felt quite anxious about what our life would involve and how I would manage with my husband away at work for 60 hours each week. Cradle 2 Kindy found us a parenting coach who helped us get into a four hourly routine with our twin boys that has allowed a smooth transition home from hospital. I really liked how she helped minimize the transition for my two year old by ensuring the twin’s routines worked around his routine rather than dictating his routine. Her advice was very practical and suitable. I would highly recommend Cradle 2 Kindy to any family needing assistance. Alison - Miranda, NSW

“Our Cradle 2 Kindy coach came to us five days after our twins came home. We thought we were doing OK at the time. We were so wrong! Our coach cut our feeding time down by two thirds, got the boys in a routine that is easy to follow and showed us many new tricks of the trade to help settle and calm them down at bedtime. Our coach has also given us the confidence to put al these skills into practice and she is always a phone call away. Thank you Cradle 2 Kindy”. Katrina - Brighton, Vic

“The standard of care our parenting coach gave was excellent. Our coaches visit and advice for caring for twins was very informative, helpful suggestions were made and all our questions were answered”. - Balmain, NSW

Brit Milah

Thu, 29 Apr 2010 23:54:00 GMT

We asked Cradle 2 Kindy for a parenting coach to assist us with our son’s Brit Milah. Our coach prepared our son and checked everything was ready for the Mohel. She made us feel more relaxed knowing someone knew what they were doing. After the ceremony she took care of the baby checking him regularly to see that all was OK allowing us time with our guests. It was reassuring to know our baby was safe in her care and that guest could visit him without them handling or touching him while he slept. - Maroubra, NSW

“Cradle 2 Kindy arranged for a parenting coach who helped us on two separate occasions. One was in assisting us and our doctor on the day of our son’s Brit. It was very reassuring and helpful to have our coach’s practical experience on such a stressful procedure. We also had the opportunity to discuss feeding and sleep issues. A few days later I called her to help me through some of these issues. Her sound advice has assisted me in moving forward from what has been a difficult start in breastfeeding.” Nadine – North Bondi, NSW

“Our parenting coach took charge at my twin boys Brit Milah – she did everything that needed to be done and knew the procedures of the Brit Milah. She also gave us some good practical advice. She was amazing and made the day seem so carefree. Thank you Cradle 2 Kindy.” - St Ives, NSW

Also see Services Brit Milah Assistance

Reflux and Food Intolerances

Thu, 29 Apr 2010 23:53:00 GMT

Ben, a three months, was feeding every three hours and having twenty-minute catnaps during the day and waking frequently during the night. He also suffered from reflux and various food allergies which could well have contributed to his unsettledness.

It is rather amusing to see the reaction, when you tell people you have hired a parenting coach (on an hourly basis, no less) to come into your home and settle your second baby. They look at you wide-eyed, with pity for your complete incompetence as a mother (it’s your second baby), or envy for your initiative (my baby’s much worse than yours and I just put up with it), or scorn (what a waste of money - we didn’t need that in ‘my day’).

These are the same people who would be equally appalled if you tried to fix your own electrical problem and then they would suffer in silence over your failed attempts. Worse still, they are the people who may deem your baby ‘naughty’ or ‘having a paddy’ when the baby won’t settle according to their unsolicited, anecdotal advice.

It is easy to answer to these implied criticisms. Firstly, like adults, all babies are different - what works for one baby may not work for another. Similarly, all family contexts are different. This is why we asked Cradle to Kindy for a parenting coach to visit our home. Parents and babies are relaxed in their homes. With our first son, we visited so many specialists about his unsettled behaviour, only to have him coo and look cute the entire time. Secondly, ‘baby skills’ and ‘parent skills’ are not innate. Babies are not born programmed with feeding or sleeping ‘skills’ - even if they have the innate drive to do both. Likewise parents don’t know how to teach a baby to feed or sleep, especially first-time parents.

People may argue that tribal societies didn’t need to have their babies in a routine - but they didn’t need to go to an external workplace or take their children to an external school, either. It is easy to lament the loss of extended communities and to wax lyrical about family members taking responsibility for babies and walking them around in slings - this is the romance of parenting.

The reality of course, is that many parents do not have support and they need to establish some semblance of order. Most ‘first-time’ parents are patronised by health professionals and not offered clear, practical help. They are told their babies are ‘difficult’ and they will just ‘grow out of it’.

Finally (and this is the main reason that we asked Cradle 2 Kind to help us), other children rapidly resent a baby that causes great levels of noise, exhaustion and confrontation. Additionally, it is not easy for the parents to ‘bond’ with a baby that screams inconsolably all day long. Parents may ask themselves “how can we afford to get professional help?” Yet the real question is “how can we afford not to get professional help - ie: can our marriage and other children survive the continual crying and distress of an unsettled baby?

Both of our sons suffer from multiple food intolerance and are under the care of a paediatric allergy specialist. Multiple food intolerance and Allergies are often misdiagnosed as reflux or colic, so it’s important to have any gastrointestinal problems diagnosed correctly. Once this is done, a baby with an irritable gastrointestinal system greatly benefits from a regular routine. Their stomachs are not overloaded by continual feeding and any medication can be given consistently. In fact, overfeeding is a common response to babies with stomach problems because the baby displays signs of gastrointestinal distress that are the same as the signs of hunger (crying, sucking hands, sucking furiously on a dummy, bottle or breast for comfort, only to spit it out shortly thereafter).

On a four-hour routine, they get a decent block of sleep instead of twenty-minute catnaps, and giving the feed at the beginning of up-time allows the feed to digest before the baby goes back to bed. Over-tiredness of course, makes the distress much worse - for baby and parent alike.

Our coach visited our home for eight hours and in that time she established clear up-times and down-times for Ben, and she gave us the confidence to allow him to cry for short periods of time. She showed us better methods of settling and gave us clear guidance regarding the night-time feeding. In one day Ben went from a three-hour routine to a four hour routine, cut out all of his night feeds and had more ‘tummy time’ than he had experienced in three months!

He also had about six hours of sleep in the day - instead of a few short, twenty-minute naps. He now sleeps from 9.30 pm to 5 am and even if he stirs (usually around 3 am), he will settle with minimum fuss. Everyone in our house is happier - especially Ben. We can’t recommend Cradle 2 Kindy and their techniques enough! Jane - Oatley, NSW

“Although I have difficulty with any settling technique which involves to picking up and comforting my baby when he’s crying, Jason sleeping was so bad (waking every 10-40 mins during the latter part of the night), something needed to be done. Our parenting coach was available at a suitable time within a couple of days of calling Cradle 2 Kindy. Within an hour of her arrival she had diagnosed Jason’s problem: reflux. Now he’s on the proper medication and our nights are much more peaceful. Without our coach’s help and expertise, I very much doubt a proper diagnosis would have been made. I would recommend Cradle 2 Kindy to anyone having difficulties getting their baby to sleep.” Sarah – Queenscliff, NSW

“I was at my wits-end, at every feed I had a screaming baby. After six and a half weeks of continuous doctor visits, my five month old at the time was diagnosed with reflux. It took the GP about 6-7 weeks to work this out. Our parenting coach took one look at her and had the answer straight away. After screaming baby for a total of nine weeks, and our coach seeing us in action for one morning we now have our little angle back. Our coach worked out the problem and fixed it so quickly that we were almost sceptical. However listening to all of her extensive advice and putting it in to practise has been wonderful. She was/is just wonderful. I can’t recommend Cradle 2 Kindy highly enough.” Shirley – Palm Cove, QLD

Also see Articles - Food intolerances and Allergies in Children and Signs and Symptoms of Reflux